I was in nursing school when I became pregnant. When my parents found out that I was pregnant, I was immediately sent to a maternity "home" where I was incarcerated for the last 5 months of my pregnancy. I was drilled daily by the staff, adoption counselors, a priest, and my parents with the propaganda that I could not raise my child and would be "selfish" if I kept her.

Losing my daughter has affected every area of my life. I am nothing like I was before she was taken from me. After losing her, I began life-long depression and anxiety. I was petrified that my other two children would also be taken. My life became focused on constantly proving I was a good mother.

I searched and found my daughter in 1998. It was a long and hard road but today we are very close. She was raised to be a princess and became very self-absorbed; it was hard to get close to her for a long time. But we are in frequent contact and I feel like we are mother and daughter.

Adoption should be changed to legal guardianships to end the secrets and lies. Women should not be coerced into losing their children. Anyone considering surrendering their child should know about the life-long effects on the mother and the child. Adoption has become more about unwanted mothers than about unwanted babies. No mother should ever be told her baby would be better off with strangers.