The Mothers' Stories Project: A Mothers' Story

I was divorced, a single mom with a 3 year old, working and going to college part time when I found out I was pregnant. I knew I couldn't manage raising another child alone and my family refused to help or acknowledge my child's birth. I was told to adopt and forget about it. I went through my pregnancy and delivery totally alone and with no support. I was living 600 hundred miles from home and was told to stay there until 'my situation' was over. I was not allowed to come home for my own sisters wedding! In those days there was no open adoption and I was not even supposed to know the sex of my child but I demanded to see her. A nurse brought her in but I was not allowed to hold her for fear I would change my mind. Well I didn't 'get over it.' To ask a mother to deny her child is inhumane. It is part of who you are. Part of your identity. I began my search for Jesse in February of 2008. I was one of the lucky ones. A search angel read my blog on Fathers Day and was so touched by my words she began to search for Jesse and found her the same day! I have never met this woman who is located in Arizona, but she saved my life. My daughter had been looking for me for 17 years! Once a year my daughter would call the same agency and was told the same thing. Then she began to have seizures for no reason. She called again and asked for her medical file. She was denied access. My poor daughter suffered emotionally and then physically because she was not allowed access to her birth files, which belong to her! I had given the agency all the medical information on both myself and the father and no one gave it to her or the aparents. Not at her birth. Not even when she began to suffer physically. My daughter now lives with me and we are rebuilding our lives together along with my three grandchildren. We are both strong advocates of open adoption and are in the process of writing a book as there is so much more to our unique story as I also found her father and we are now married! My life is truly a blessing. We are learning to let go of regret and pain and help other adoptees and birthmoms. Someone once said, denying birth records to an adoptee is liking beginning your life in Chapter 2. Birthmoms, your children are waiting. Step out of the darkness and embrace your future, for the journey you are about to take will give you strength and put your heart at peace. Never give up hope!

Marcie Roth A proud Birthmom to Jessica Roth
Lost to adoption 11/15/78 Ephrata Pa
Found Fathers Day 2008
Reunited as a Family June 25th 2008